Freaking out just a little bit, okay A LOT! I was talking to a friend of mine and he mentioned that Cork is in a hospital for the mentally ill. I checked on wikipedia and it turns out that the East Mississippi Corrections Facility, where Cork is housed, is the place where all of the prisoners in their system are sent when they have a mental illness.
I called the woman who runs Cork's floor and I said, "So, is your facility a prison for the criminally insane?"
She said, "Basically. Especially on this floor, we have the worst cases here. Many of them are patients," I guess she meant as opposed to prisoners. She may be referring to people who are legally labeled as criminally insane. Her floor, Cork's floor, is the worst one. He lives on the floor that houses the most severe, most dangerous prisoners.
I am physically ill. I want to face him and I will not back down, but I am really nervous. Flashbacks of the movie Shutter Island keep racing through my mind.
I figured that he'd be a little off, simply because he's been incarcerated for so long. I was trying to prepare for that. But this, this new revelation, I don't know how to prepare for it. Is he schizophrenic? Does he have multiple personalities? Is he violent?
I find myself wondering whether or not he can tell me anything useful. What if he just sits there in a puddle of his own drool? Is the Cork of 1973 who killed my grandfather even inside of the Cork of 2012? I picture myself sitting across from him, using words, body language, and facial expressions to try to delve deeper into his mind, to try to get to the truth. Will he be able to help me or will I just get lost in there?
Sometimes I wonder whether or not he has Internet access and, if so, if he has read this blog. Does he know what I wrote about him here? Does he know that I'm afraid?